


The Beginning Of Something Really Excellent

by nocturnalScribbler



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Collegestuck, Fluff, Homestuck AU, M/M, Probably ooc, Sex eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-07
Updated: 2012-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:40:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nocturnalScribbler/pseuds/nocturnalScribbler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's almost the start of his first year of college, and John Egbert is hoping to move out of his dad's house before school starts. Lucky for him, he finds a flyer posted by someone in need of a roommate.</p>
<p>It's almost the start of his first year of college, and Dave Strider has no idea the kind of dork his flyer has just attracted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ==> Dave: Make Those Stupid Flyers.

**Author's Note:**

> First off, sorry this chapter is so short.
> 
> Second, I don't even know if I want to start posting this story. 
> 
> Oh well, here we go! Pchooooooo!

“You’re gonna need a roommate.”

“I get that, but how the hell do you expect me to find a roommate?”

“Post flyers around the city.”

“Posting flyers around the city just screams ‘stalk me’. I may as well just hand out my number to everyone I walk by in town,” Dave sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And you know it could possibly lure in psycho serial murder rapists or some shit like that.”

“Do you think I taught you how to strife just for shits and giggles? I think not, little bro. You can handle yourself. If you do get attacked, though, don’t let them know you scream like a little girl.”

“Fuck you, Bro,” Dave growled. “That was _one_ time, and I was in the shower. Last time I had checked, bathroom strife sessions weren’t on the agenda.”

Bro chuckled on the other line. “Who says it was a strife session?”

“Again, fuck you, Bro.”

“I was just teaching you how to be prepared at all times, even while taking a shower,” Bro insisted, but Dave could hear the smile in his voice. If Dave could reach through the phone, he’d totally sock Bro in the face. “Anyway, just post flyers. If people start text stalking you, change your number. Easy.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Dave muttered, a headache working its way from behind his eyes and upward, his temples throbbing. “I’ll keep you updated, I guess. If you don’t hear from me in a month, assume I’ve been kidnapped, raped and dumped in a gutter.”

“I’ll keep my eye on the obituaries.”

“You’re not allowed at my funeral.”

Another chuckle. “Talk to you later, little bro.” the line went dead, and Dave hit the end button on his cell phone and set it on the desk with a sigh. Posting flyers it is, but not yet. No, Dave needed something for this Bro-induced headache.

Dave pushed himself away from his desk and got to his feet, making his way out into the hall and towards the bathroom. It was dark in the house, something that didn’t bug Dave all that much. The emptiness was strange, but that was because he didn’t have piles and piles of smuppet ass and proboscis keeping him company, puppets hanging from obscure places, or Bro flash stepping all over the place in an attempt to knock Dave on his ass in one of their strife sessions.

Yes, the emptiness was strange, but it wasn’t going to be missed. 

Except for Bro.

_Maybe._

Dave rummaged through the medicine cabinet, grabbing a bottle of ibuprofen and downing two tablets, then headed downstairs to grab some food, weaving through a maze of moving boxes laying around on the floor. He was gonna put this flyer thing off as much as possible, and looking for food was a good way to avoid that task. He pulled the fridge open and stared at the contents for a long while, as if staring would make something appetizing materialize, then shut the door and opted on cold Pop-Tarts that were in the cupboard.

Most of Dave’s things he’d brought from Texas were still packed away, like bowls and silverware, and most of the pots and pans. Only one pot was out, which Dave had used to make Mac and Cheese, but after four straight days of the stuff he was almost close to throwing the rest of the boxes away out of disgust. But that’d be a waste, and Striders did not waste food if they could help it.

It wasn’t like he and Bro couldn’t afford to waste food, they could. In the beginning it wasn’t like that, though. When Dave was younger he and Bro had gone through a rough patch, having to become very frugal about their money and what they bought in terms of food. Sometimes even Mac and Cheese was a luxury, but Bro had managed to make ends meet. He was determined to never let Dave know what an empty stomach felt like, even if it meant filling him up on food that tasted like salted cardboard.

Their situation continued for quite some time after that, but fortunately Bro started to pick up gigs at local venues or parties at clubs, hosting as the main DJ and bringing home a significant amount of money compared to what he’d had before. That coupled with Bro’s demon spawn smuppets that took off in popularity (Dave couldn’t understand why), the two were pretty much set. 

To celebrate, they had a strife session that included ketchup, mustard and a kitchen that smelled like a condiment stand for the next week.

So, when Dave graduated high school and told Bro he wanted to go to college, Bro was behind him one hundred percent since they could actually afford to even think about that sort of thing. Bro would’ve been behind him whether they had the money or not, though.

The expenses were figured out, and Bro promised to pay Dave’s way through college as long as he maintained badass grades, as well as one other condition.

Since Bro was also willing to pay for the rent on Dave’s house, Bro was allowed to come visit any time he wanted without calling ahead.

The thought sent a chill down Dave’s spine.

Dave wanted to take some of the burden off of Bro, despite his willingness, and decided on the roommate idea so it put less strain on his wallet. That, and the house was suited for two people anyway, so why not? Of course, Dave would have to make an effort to get his shit packed away before he really thought of inviting a roommate into the house. No one wanted a living room made of cardboard boxes.

With a sigh, Dave popped the last of his dinner into his mouth and headed upstairs, figuring it was high time to get started on those stupid flyers. He grabbed his laptop and flopped down onto his bed, opening up a word document and drumming his fingers against his thigh as if he’d already been at this task for hours.

But in all honesty, this kind of thing was lame beyond all levels of irony. So, in an attempt to end his suffering in a humane way, Dave began to type out the first things that came to mind, aware that the attitude the flyer put off would probably drive any potential roommates away.

Dave told himself he’d search for a shred of ‘give a fuck’ tomorrow, probably revise the thing before printing it out. He smacked the save button indignantly, then closed the document and opened up his cache of downloaded movies, selecting one at random that he could just fall asleep to. He set his laptop on his desk, turned so he could see the screen while laying in bed, then settled onto his back and shut his eyes, the only sound in the empty house being the movie playing and Dave’s breathing as he slowly drifted off to sleep.


	2. ==> John: Snag Yourself A Roommate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter! Now the rest of them will probably come slower since I...don't really have them written out yet.
> 
> Woo!

John stretched his arms above is head as he walked, needing some fresh air after being cooped up in his room all day. It was hard work looking for a possible new home while about to start college, and though John’s dad had stated over and over again that his son could just stay home…well, it was high time John started thinking about going out on his own and finding a roommate for the college years to come. It seemed like the only possible homes were small, dinky apartments, though, and not worth the money he’d end up having to pay. Not that he couldn’t afford it, he just wanted to find something worthwhile. So, after a few hours of scrolling around on the internet, John figured it was time to take a break before he went crazy.

It was nice outside, a warm breeze blowing through the streets downtown as John headed for his favorite coffee shop, hoping to grab some lunch before going back to the tedious work of house hunting. John approached the glass door to the small coffee shop, tugging it open and getting a face full of fresh brewed coffee, pastries and spices. The door swung shut behind him, and John smiled as he approached the counter, ordering a simple hot chocolate - because hot chocolate is awesome any time of the year - and paying the cashier. As he waited for his hot chocolate to be made, John turned around and studied the cork board hanging on the wall beside the door. It was always fun to look at since people normally posted humorous things on there, like comic strips or chuckle-worthy magazine articles. People also tacked business cards or flyers for fund raisers and the like, but one flyer in particular caught John’s eye.

**Roommate Needed  
  
Two story house, kind of small but cozier than shit.  
Two bedrooms, one bathroom.  
Yeah, we’ll be sharing that shit, so some sense of hygiene is required.  
Close to downtown and the college campus.  
You get exercise and save gas money, holy shit.  
  
Then that gas money can go into the rent.  
  
Call for more info, unless it’s 2 in the morning or something.**

John plucked the flyer off of the board and quickly pulled his phone out, entering the number at the bottom of the paper but not calling just yet since his order was now being called out.

“Do you know when this was posted?” John questioned, holding the flyer out so the barista could see it. She peered at it curiously, then shrugged.

“Maybe a few hours ago?”

“Do you know if the guy seemed nice?”

“He didn’t say anything to me. He just came in, stuck the flyer up there and left. He looked nice enough, I guess.”

John smiled and folded the flyer up, tucking it into his pocket before taking his drink and thanking the barista. He quickly headed outside and started for home, his stomach doing anxious flip flops at the possibility of actually finding a roommate.

It didn’t take long before John burst into his house, the smell of baking cakes assaulting his nose. He wrinkled it and closed the door behind himself, bounding upstairs before his dad tried to present him with a freshly iced doom pastry. With his bedroom door shut firmly behind himself and the flyer sitting on his desk, John retrieved his cell phone and looked up the number he saved in his contacts from the flyer, almost wiggling with giddiness as he hit the call button.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

“Yo.”

John blinked, taken slightly off guard by the voice dripping with coolness on the other line. That, and the fact that he had expected any other greeting except for “yo”, but he smiled and sat on the edge of his bed. “Hey! I saw the flyer you posted looking for a roommate and I was wondering if the spot was still open? I mean, I was told you only posted it a few hours ago but I figured I should ask anyway since I really need to find a place to stay before school starts. Living with your parents is lame you know, and maybe--”

“Dude, breathe. I think you paused once during that whole monologue of yours.”

John pursed his lips tightly as if the guy on the other line could see him, then smirked a bit. “Sorry, just kind of excited.”

“I can tell. Just take a chill pill and let’s start with the simple stuff, like your name?”

“Oh! Right! My Name’s John Egbert.”

“’Kay, are you some kind of serial killer or something? Because if you are, you don’t have a chance.”

“Serial killer? No way! Unless you’re talking about cereal, like what you have for breakfast. Then I guess I’m a cereal killer?”

There was a noise like a cough on the other line, and then a soft exhale of breath. “Alright, well, let’s get to the main point. Would you be able to split the rent in half with me?”

“Yeah, of course! I mean, I wouldn’t be looking for a place to live if I couldn’t afford to pay the rent or anything, you know? That’d be kind of lame on my part, and I wouldn’t be calling you if I didn’t plan on helping wi--”

“Did you take that chill pill I prescribed to you? I don’t think you did, and it was doctor’s orders. You might wanna get on that.”

John clapped a hand over his mouth as a loud laugh escaped him, and he shook his head in amusement. “Oh man, you’re kind of funny. I think we’ll get along great.”

“Who says you’re my roommate yet?”

At this, John frowned. Sure, nothing had even been said by the other guy in terms of being his roommate, but John couldn’t help but hope. He was so close to actually finding a new home and getting a roommate!

“Man, stop making a face like your puppy got kicked. I can feel it through the phone. Just…let’s meet up. Where’d you find the flyer?”

“At the coffee shop downtown.”

“Cool, let’s just meet up there tonight, maybe around seven? That way I can make sure you’re not some pedo or any crazy shit. Deal?”

“Deal!”

“Sweet. See you then.” and with that, the line went dead.

John hung up as well, a wide smile spread across his face. He was meeting the guy tonight, and then he’d have a roommate for sure! Well, maybe. If things went well, anyway. John flopped onto his back, smiling at the ceiling with his phone clutched in his hand on the off chance the guy, whose name he never got, might call back for some reason. He stayed that way for a short while until there was a soft knock on the door, and a moment later his dad was poking his head through the door, the smell of cakes wafting off of him.

“John? Are you all right?”

“I’m great! I just called a guy looking for a roommate, and we’re meeting tonight for an interview type thing, I guess. He didn’t really say it was an interview, he’s just making sure I’m not some crazy person.” John explained, sitting up and rolling his eyes despite the smile on his face.

“Oh, wonderful. Do you think he’d like some cake? There’s plenty in the kitchen.”

“Bluh, gross, no.” John shook his head, making a face.

“Not everyone dislikes cake like you do, son. You’ll come to love it one day.” his dad said, nodding with certainty.

“I hate it because you try feeding it to me _every day_.” John mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Haha.”

Mr. Egbert eyed his son for a moment, then smiled a bit. “Do you at least have time for dinner before you go later?”

“Don’t worry about me, Dad. I’ll probably get something to eat while I’m out tonight.”

“All right, well, I’ll leave you something just in case.” Mr. Egbert insisted, then closed the door behind himself.

John watched his door for a moment, then got to his feet and headed towards his desk, flopping into his chair and waking his computer up. He began closing all of the windows of available apartments and other housing websites, then brought up Pesterchum. No one was online to talk to and John fidgeted slightly, restlessness taking over. He had a long time to wait until seven and nothing to do. Well, he could always watch a movie.

After a moment’s debate, John headed to his extensive Nic Cage movie collection and picked his all time favorite, Con Air. Surely by the time the movie was over it’d be time to head off to the coffee shop. After popping the movie in, John laid on his stomach on his bed and watched the trailers roll by. Even when the movie started, he couldn’t focus completely, his mind too occupied by tonight. He pillowed his head in his arms, turning his attention to the clock on the VCR and watched as the time slowly ticked by.

*****

John woke with a start and glanced around groggily, his vision blurry and his room dark save for the static on his TV, signaling that his movie had ended. He pushed his glasses up to his forehead so he could rub his eyes, then looked at the time on the VCR to see the green numbers showing him it was 7:22 PM.

“Oh, crap!” John stumbled off of his bed, tripping over himself a bit as he scrambled to the door and threw it open. “I’m gonna be late, I’m gonna be late!” he cried, flying down the stairs and nearly colliding with his dad.

“Careful!” Mr. Egbert said, watching as his son stumbled by him and to the front door. “Where’s the fire?”

“At the coffee shop where my chances of getting a roommate are bursting into flames as we speak!” John called over his shoulder, letting the front door slam shut behind himself as he took off down the street. It was cooler out now than it had been earlier, but halfway to the coffee shop John’s hair was already plastered to his forehead and temples with sweat, and his glasses had been bouncing and sliding up and down his nose the whole time. It didn’t take much longer before John reached the coffee shop, though, and he hastily pushed the door open, chest heaving as his body struggled for air.

John’s eyes quickly scanned the people before him before it finally dawned on him that he didn’t know who he was looking for, and he turned to the barista for help. Unfortunately, it was a guy this time and he probably didn’t know a thing about the guy who posted the flyer. Instead, John asked for a water and took a seat at an empty table, savoring the water as if he’d been dehydrated for months. Once at least half the water was gone, John took his phone out and scrolled to the flyer guy’s number, hitting talk and waiting as the phone rang. He didn’t hear any phones going off, but there was an answer all the same.

“Yo.”

“Uh, hi! It’s John.”

“Hey, sup?”

“I was, uh… I’m here at the coffee shop.”

“Cool. I’m about to walk in right now.”

John turned in time to see the door being pulled open, and a blond guy wearing ridiculously pointed sunglasses, a white and red-sleeved baseball tee and black pants walked in, a cell phone to his ear.

“Hey! I see you!” John yelled to the guy, temporarily forgetting he was still on the phone until the guy wrenched his own phone away from his head. “Oh, sorry.” John quickly hung up and got to his feet, all smiles as the guy approached him, his expression neutral because of the sunglasses hiding his eyes.

“So, you’re John.” he stated, hands in his pockets.

“Yup! And I never got your name.”

“Dave Strider.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Dave!” John replied, sitting down as Dave took a seat across from him.

“Unless pedophiles have gotten younger, you don’t seem creepy to me,” Dave started, folding his arms on the table and slouching slightly. “The odds are already leaning in your favor, look at that.”

John grinned and clasped his hands around his water, unable to stifle his excitement. “Great. I totally thought I was gonna blow my chances when I saw I was late, so I ran here. Guess it didn’t matter, huh?”

“You ran here?”

“Oh, uh, yes?”

“Damn, you must be determined.”

John shifted nervously in his seat and grinned again. “Well, I kind of really want to move out and have a roommate. You know, leave the nest and all that.” he shrugged, playing with his straw.

Dave merely nodded in response, then leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head. “Anyway, so you can manage splitting the rent with me?”

“Yep!”

Dave rolled his shoulders and tipped his head to the side lazily, and John couldn’t help but think Dave just oozed coolness. “Then I don’t see why you and I can’t be roomies. You’re not a crazy pedo mass murderer, and you can help with rent. Sounds like this deal’s done,” he said, reaching forward an grabbing John’s straw, proceeding to act as if he were touching each of John’s shoulders with it. “I dub thee my new roommate.”

John almost spilled his water as Dave’s words registered, and he had to do everything he could to not tackle Dave to the floor in a hug. He just smiled a wide, toothy smile at Dave, who looked back with an expressionless, sunglasses-clad face.

“Man, it looks like you’re about to have an aneurism or some shit. Do you always get excited about simple stuff?”

“No, this is just a big thing for me. This is so great,” John laughed, unable to stay still and began to shift in his seat restlessly. “So, when do I get to move in? Where’s the apartment? Can I see it?”

Dave scratched the side of his head, and John thought he caught the faintest glimpse of a smirk, but it was gone in a flash. “This weekend sound fine? I’m still trying to get everything organized and shit inside, but we should be done by then. The apartment’s just a few blocks away, too. Kind of in the center of everything.”

“Yeah, the weekend is great. Oh man, I feel like running and jumping around now.” John admitted with a chuckle.

“Don’t force me to restrain you. I didn’t bring my leash that I use on overly excited roommates,” Dave replied, then pulled his phone out and looked at it, the bright screen reflected in his sunglasses. He put his phone away after a moment, then suddenly got to his feet. “I gotta head back and straighten some shit out, but I’ll text you the address later. Call me Saturday morning before you head over, or if you get lost.”

John quickly got to his feet as well, stumbling on his chair and nearly sending it clattering to the floor. “Oh, right! Sounds cool! I’ll totally call you when I get lost. Er, _if_ I get lost, which I probably _won’t_ do.” John started, then closed his mouth in an attempt to shut himself up.

Dave looked at him for a moment, just barely shaking his head before giving a brief wave good bye and heading out the door. John stayed rooted where he stood, not wanting to leave right this second just in case Dave felt like he was being stalked, waiting for a few minutes before leaving himself.

The walk home didn’t take too long, and when John walked inside his dad was in the kitchen, putting his cakes and dinner away. John leaned in the doorway with a smile on his face, his dad now looking at him curiously.

“I take it the interview went well?”

“Yeah! Dave said I could move in this weekend!” John explained, going over the few things they had talked about at the coffee shop.

“That’s great, son. I’m proud of you,” Mr. Egbert said, patting John on the shoulder. “We’ll go get some packing boxes tomorrow so you can start packing your things away. The weekend’s gonna sneak up on you pretty fast.”

John nodded, still smiling, then headed upstairs to his room with a plate of food at his dad’s insistence. He set the plate on his desk and changed into his pajamas, then popped in another Nic Cage movie and practically cleaned the plate of food before flopping onto his back, wondering where he should start with packing tomorrow. He stared at the ceiling for a long while, trying to make a to do list in his head, but after about an hour he drifted off with a happy smile on his face.


	3. ==> Dave: Lock Him Out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, updating and shit. But it's another short chapter, so I apologize.
> 
> In other news, Dave can now brandish his Dadbert's Seal of Approval badge with honor.

The week had come and gone, and suddenly it was Saturday morning and his phone was ringing and vibrating off the hook, and not off the hook in a good way. More like off the hook because his new roommate wouldn’t stop calling or texting him. Who was even up this early?

What the hell time was it anyway?

Dave groaned and rolled onto his side, now facing his nightstand to see the blue numbers of his alarm clock read 11:38 AM.

Oh.

With a sigh Dave pushed himself into a sitting position and rubbed his eyes, then picked his cell phone up from the nightstand and checked it. Okay, so Egbert hadn’t really assaulted his phone with calls and texts. Just one call with a voicemail that informed Dave that John was ready to go and he’d wait before heading over because Dave wasn’t answering. Then a text saying his dad was coming along.

Great, Dave had to deal with two Egberts today, and he was pretty sure one Egbert was bad enough. John by himself was almost too much dork for Dave to handle, but denying his dad the chance to see his son off, despite how close he probably lived, wasn’t something Dave would do.

Ignoring John’s text and call until Dave was good and ready to face the general population was, though.

Dave dropped his phone to his bed and climbed to his feet, lazily scratching his chest as he wandered to the bathroom to take a shower. It didn’t take very long, and soon enough Dave was showered, dressed, and his breath smelled minty fresh. He’d called John as soon as he’d gotten out of the shower, so he figured he’d be here any minute and decided to go wait on the front porch because he was a chivalrous, I’ll-wait-on-the-front-porch-so-you-know-exactly-what-house-to-go-to kind of roommate.

It was nice outside, a cool breeze cutting through the remaining warmth of summer, and Dave shoved his hands into his pockets as he leaned against the railing of the front porch, idly scanning up and down the street for any sign of Egbert. A few cars drove by, some college students on bikes rode down the sidewalks, and finally a white and orange U-Haul made its way down the road, slowly coming to a halt beside the curb in front of Dave’s house. A very excited looking John hopped out of the passenger’s seat, waving enthusiastically at Dave, who nodded his head in return.

“Hey, Dave! Man, I’m way excited. Can you tell? Probably. I need to shut up, huh? Gosh, I’m sorry.” John yapped, then covered his mouth and turned to look at the man exiting the driver’s side of the van.

Where Dave had expected a near clone of John, dorky demeanor, buck-teeth and all, there stood a man dressed in polished black shoes, black suit pants and a button down shirt, a hat sitting on top of his head and a warm smile on his face that screamed ‘the perfect father figure.’

“Oh, Dave! This is my dad. You can just call him Dad if you want, since everyone does. Or Mr. Egbert if you want?” John shrugged, his hand still kind of covering his mouth as if it’d keep him from going on another talking adventure.

At this, Mr. Egbert stepped towards Dave and offered a hand. “It’s good to finally meet you, David. John’s been talking about you all week.”

“Dave, and yeah? That’s cool.” Dave replied, giving Mr. Egbert’s hand a quick slap and a fist bump. He didn’t seem put off by the greeting at all, and Dave decided he might actually like John’s dad.

“I wasn’t talking about you all week,” John suddenly piped up, his cheeks red. “I was talking about moving in all week. There’s a big difference, Dad!” he raised his voice enough for his dad, who had excused himself to open the back of the van, to hear. His dad merely waved a hand dismissively, and John huffed.

“Let’s get this over with. The sooner you’re moved in, the sooner I can go inside. It’s cold out.” Dave announced, ignoring the face John was giving him.

*****

It had taken a few long hours before John’s things were moved in, most of the work coming from getting the bed, his dresser and other large, clunky items up the stairs. It wasn’t a lot, thankfully, but Dave was certain his life was about to end a few times on that staircase. The rest was easy since John had put all of his other things into boxes, which everyone could take up the stairs without help. Once the moving in was finished, John insisted on showing his dad around the house, which Dave thought was funny since it was his first time as well. So, Dave ended up playing tour guide, stating the obvious (“this is the living room, that’s the kitchen, this is the second floor, okay we’re done.”) and then letting the Egberts run loose throughout the house so they could explore. John did most of the running while his dad just took everything in.

Dave had expected Mr. Egbert to be a mess since his son was now moving out, but he kept a straight poker face the whole time, and he couldn’t help but think Bro would be proud.

“I like this house. It has a sort of charm to it.” Mr. Egbert suddenly announced, and Dave shrugged.

“What can I say? Strider charm rubs off on everything.”

Mr. Egbert chuckled to himself. “So, Dave, how long have you lived here?”

Dave had a feeling he and John’s dad would eventually start a rousing game of Q&A, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Not long. I moved here from Texas about a month ago.”

“Oh? Did you live with your parents before that?”

“Nope, just my bro and me.”

Mr. Egbert nodded slightly. “How was it in Texas?”

“Like living in the seventh ring of hell, and my bro was Satan reincarnate.” Dave said casually, shrugging.

Mr. Egbert stared at Dave for a moment, a quizzical expression on his face. “Was your brother…abusive?”

“Hell no. He just liked bugging the shit out of me every single day. I swear, I couldn’t turn a corner without getting a god damn smuppet ass shoved right into my face.”

At this, Mr. Egbert relaxed and raised an eyebrow. “Smuppets?”

“Smuppets.”

“I see.”

Dave leaned against the doorway leading into the living room. “My bro is a big puppet person.” he explained with a one-shoulder shrug.

Mr. Egbert nodded again. “How do you like it here in Washington?”

“It’s wetter than fuck here, but it’s an upgrade from the flames of hell I guess. And Satan isn’t watching my every move.”

“Ah, yes, that seems to be a plus,” Mr. Egbert agreed with a smirk, then looked to the top of the staircase to see John standing there, a smile on his face. He’d been messing around in his room, attempting to unpack things, but obviously he was putting the task off for now. “Well, I should probably head out.”

John’s smile faltered, but he nodded happily and took the stairs two at a time, jumping over the last four. “I’ll walk you to the van, then.” he said, watching as his dad turned to Dave and offered his fist this time.

Dave fist bumped him and nodded approvingly. “Later.” he said, watching as the two headed outside. The door closed behind them, and John slowly walked with his dad to the moving van, a sad smile on his face.

“I like Dave. He’s interesting, and I think you two will get along perfectly.” Mr. Egbert suddenly spoke up, and John snorted.

“Hah, yeah. I think so, too,” he nodded, then looked down at his shoes. “Promise you won’t use my room as storage now that I’m gone?”

“Oh no, where will I put all my baking accessories and boxes of cake and brownie mix once the shelves are all full? You know we‘ve never had that big of a kitchen.”

John made a face. “ _Dad_.”

“Of course I promise.”

John nodded and smiled, then wrapped his arms tightly around his father, burying his face against his shoulder. “You’ll come see me sometimes, right?”

“Only if you come see me on holidays, and bring Dave with you, too.”

“Deal.”

Mr. Egbert pulled away from a his son and smiled, ruffling his hair slightly before pulling apart completely. “If you need anything, call me.”

“I will.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“You’re gonna make me cry.”

Mr. Egbert laughed and patted his son’s shoulder lightly, then headed to the driver’s side door and climbed in while John backed up until he was standing on the small patch of grass in front of his and Dave’s house. He waved as his dad started the van and drove off down the road, arm hanging out the window and waving to John until he disappeared around a corner. John stayed put for a while, eyes still stuck on the corner his dad disappeared around, and he rubbed one of his eyes.

“Are you crying?”

John jumped and covered his mouth so he wouldn’t scream. “What the hell?! I didn’t even hear you come outside. The fuck are you, part ninja?” he cried around his hands.

Dave stood beside John, his expression neutral. “Maybe I am,” he said, then tilted his head to the side. “You know, if you’re so broken up about moving out, then just move back in.”

Normally something like that would’ve caused John to bristle, but the way Dave said it lacked any malice or mockery. It was just a suggestion thrown out to John for him to consider, and John smiled.

“Nah, I’m fine. It’s not like he lives far away or anything. Plus, I’ve got myself a cool roommate and we’re gonna be the best of palhonchos!”

“I thought you were talking about me at first, but then you actually said the word ‘palhonchos’ and I stopped existing as your roommate.” Dave said, and John laughed loudly.

“Oh man, you’re gr-- hey, where are you going? Dave!”

“It’s freezing balls. I’m going inside.”

“Bluh, it’s not even the end of August yet! You’re weird!”

“Excuse me, I’m not the one who said ‘palhonchos’.”

“Palhonchos is a cool and legit word.”

“No.”

“Palhonchos.”

“No.”

“Pallllllhonchoooooossssss!”

“Egbert, we are closing the metaphorical door on the word ‘palhonchos’, and after tonight that word is to never leave your mouth again, so help you god.”

“…Hey, Dave?”

“What?”

“PALHONCHOS. …Hey, don’t lock the door! Daaaave!”


End file.
